Bah Humbug!

I’m trying to feel festive, but it’s hard when you’re more likely to be sneezing than singing.  I wanted to spread a message of good cheer, but that’ll have to wait til next week.  If you want something festive atm, see the Xmas Sparkle post.  If you’re sick of goodwill to the ungrateful and a nose to rival Rudolph’s, I have something less trite for you than the usual dose of sugar and spice.  I bring you some lyrics I wrote a few years ago because I was foolishly bet that you can’t write something that’s dark AND festive.

Just Because it’s Christmas

There’s no use pretending

That we still like each other.

My gift this Christmas is to

admit that I hate you before

you kill me.


That was a year ago,

But my feelings ain’t changed.

My gift this year is

Festive ways to cause you pain.



Just because it’s Christmas,

Doesn’t mean I’m done with hate.

Just because it’s Christmas,

I’m gonna carve you up.

I got tons of cool presents,

Like a shiny new chainsaw.

I wanna share it with you,

Make you scream while it roars.

Repeat chorus


Instead of stuffing the turkey,

I’ll stuff you with TNT.

Stuff mince pies in your eyes,

Cos your screams are music to me.

Repeat chorus


Don’t wanna pull a cracker,

’cos they never stay that way.

You know you hurt me bad, boy,

And now you’re gonna pay.

Repeat chorus to fade


4 thoughts on “Bah Humbug!

    • I miss you, but my Internet just won’t work cos the lousy company didn’t set it up properly, and they won’t even talk about the problem because they require a password they haven’t sent out

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